Cheers and a few Tears

Here's my first post of the new year. I'm afraid it's going to sound very much like many of my posts from the last month of 2010. If you don't want to read more of the same, then turn away now.

Okay, you've been warned.

Happy New Year. 2011 is off to an interesting start, and truthfully I wouldn't mind if this was the peak of it, but I know it's not. So here's how my weekend went.

Let's backtrack to December 30. I worked, then came home and met Anthony and his 18 year old nephew Andrew for dinner. We went to a restaurant called Smoque, which is down the street from one of my offices so I'm familiar with it. This was Anthony's first time there, he was curious to try it. The line was out the door so the three of us chatted. I was thrilled to meet Andrew and learn about his time in Chicago. He loves the city and had a blast. His Uncle "Tony" showed him a good time, taking him to cool neighborhoods and tourist attractions. Eventually we were seated and before long we enjoyed a fantastic meal. Later that evening we went to an improv show at The Annoyance Theatre. It was a super-funny show and a nice last night for Andrew's Chicago visit.

Friday I did some shopping then met up with Anthony, Benjamin and Anthony's cousin Matt who arrived in town that afternoon to spend the weekend. We went to a neighborhood restaurant for dinner which was terribly disappointing. Afterwards we met up with Dan and Luis at Jackhammer where we rang in the new year. It meant a lot to me to ring in the new year with Dan, with whom I have done so for the past 8 years. It was also nice celebrating it with a boyfriend for once. After the fanfare was finished Anthony wandered off with his cousin. Eventually I found them in the upstairs section of the bar, chatting with a couple friends. I talked for a while, then suggested to Anthony that we sneak out and go home for some alone time. He liked that idea. Matt and Benjamin were having a good time at the bar so they stayed behind. Dan and Luis were elsewhere so I didn't get to say goodnight to them.

The following morning I cooked breakfast for everybody - pancakes, bacon and sausage. It was delicious. But I had to run because later that day I was hosting a party at my house. That party turned into quite the festive event. Anthony, Benjamin and Matt got to meet my friends Karen and Cyd, who I've know for a very long time. Everybody got along very well and had a fantastic time.

Somehow we found the strength to go out that evening, we wound up at Big Chicks and stayed for a couple drinks. Benjamin stayed behind, Anthony, Matt and I went back to the apartment. Sometime after 5 am, I heard loud footsteps in the apartment and someone yelling "this is fucking bullshit, I ought to shoot you right now!" Needless to say I bolted upright from a sound sleep and freaked. Anthony just sort of brushed it off. I'm unsure how he could sleep with the sound of my heard pounding. I thought someone had broken into the apartment and was ready to kill us. I was sick to my stomach at the thought but knew I needed to remain completely silent. I listened and heard the footsteps walk back towards the front of the house. At that point, I considered exiting via the bedroom window, figuring a 2-story drop might break my legs but I could survive that. For some reason I just stayed and listened. Turns out, Benjamin brought home some friends who were prehaps drunk and had become rowdy. When I finally got up to go to the bathroom, everybody (Benjamin, his 3 new friends and Matt, who just kind of got stuck in it all) were up drinking and talking loudly. I did my best to give whomever may have seen me a dirty look as I went back to bed, then slammed the bedroom door. Let's just say that I was none too pleased in the morning and sick to my stomach the rest of the day.

Sunday the 2nd was Anthony's "Bon Voyage" party, again at Big Chicks. I ran some errands earlier in the day, then came home to get ready to meet up with the boys, again. Anthony, Matt and I had dinner at Crew, a gay sports bar. We then walked over to Big Chicks. Anthony had at least 2 dozen guests who came by to wish him well and have a drink with him. I was introduced to each one as his boyfriend, and we graciously ducked the "oh, are you moving to California too?" question by telling people that we are in the process of weighing our options and will figure out the best solution shortly. I decided that it wouldn't be nice to make anybody feel bad by just simply answering "no, I'm not." For the 3+ hours, I smiled and gracioustly greeted his friends, many of whom I'd met at one event or another. It was nice to see them again, unsure if I'll see them ever again but whatever.

The party wound down and Anthony, Matt and I went back to the apartment. Benjamin stayed home and was asleep when we got there. Matt decided he was going to drive back to Michigan. He only had 1 drink during dinner and was wide awake. Since he prefers to drive at night, it seemed like a good time to go. We said goodnight then went to bed.

I decided last night to give Anthony his going away present. Among the few small things I gave to him was a framed picture of us. It was taken at an event last October and it's a great photo of the both of us. He has said on numerous occasions how he loves it. When he opened it, he smiled and was so happy to have it. He opened everything but the card, saying he would save that for later. I think if he had read it, we'd have both cried. I sobbed as I wrote it. We turned out the lights and went to bed. He held me and we talked for about a half hour. It was nice.

This morning, a representative from the company coordinating his cross-country move arrived. They talked in the living room, I sat in the kitchen with my iPad. When they made their way to the back of the apartment, the guy introduced himself to me and asked me if I had any questions about how the move would go, I just said I did not. Anthony gave me a glance as if to say "I'm sorry." I smiled. I've gotten really good at smiling even when I don't feel like it. They finished, the guy left and Anthony informed me that on Friday, the packers would come in, pack everything and put it all on the truck. I said "but you're not leaving until Sunday." He said "I know." I said "where are you going to sleep for two nights?" He said "TBD." I said "well...you can stay with me." He said "good, because I was going to ask you if I could." With that, we started cleaning out his kitchen cabinets and I became the recipient of 2 bags of groceries. Afterwards he came over here with me, picked up something that he needed from my place, and went home to begin purging. I went on to the book store, then I took myself out for lunch.

Tonight in a fit of anxiety, I took down the Christmas tree...literally. I stripped the tree of all its ornaments, threw the tree in it's storage bad and hauled it out to the trash. The next tree I buy will be a slender tree.

I've been fine most of the day, but the process of taking down the tree made me feel a little melancholy. Anthony helped me put up the tree, so taking it down so close to him leaving seemed like yet another ending. I'm sad thinking about it.

I know things will get better. I know you're relieved to read that because by now you're sick of me whining about my relationship woes. I'm just processing it all right now.

So, what did you do for New Year's Eve?

Live Life Out Loud

My mantra for 2011 is "Live Life Out Loud."

Years ago, I was the shy guy. I stood back and observed and once I got really comfortable with the situation I'd slowly make my way into the fray. Fine, except there are those tmies when doing so means you've missed a lot.

In more recent years I've managed to be a bit more proactive in getting involved, being a part of the party, and speaking up. Admittedly I still have some room to improve, but I'm happy with where I'm at these days.

So for 2011, I've decided to live life out loud. I've defined that to include but not limited to the following:

-Speak up for yourself.
-Speak up for others.
-If you don't agree, say so, but be polite about it.
-Don't wait for things to happen, make them happen.
-Dream big.
-Have faith.
-Go for it.
-Make a difference.

2010 was a big year for me - lots of ups, a few downs. I'm hoping that 2011 will be bigger and better. I know that I'm starting off the year on a bittersweet note, but there's no place to go but up, and I have no intention to sit around too long before I work to make that happen.

So, I wish each and every one of you who read this blog, some of whom take the time to leave me comments which are so sweet, a very happy, healthy and LOUD New Year. Live, love and learn.

Peace!

xo

Jim

New Year's Eve and Beyond...

It seems like so long ago (6 days!!) but I'm finally getting around to posting about New Year's Eve and the weekend that followed it.

The evening began with Dan, Luis and I meeting up for dinner, and then we made an appearance at a party. We excused ourselves from it so that we could make our way to Jackhammer, our regular watering hole where we were being joined by our friends Tina, Denise and Polo. I could not think of a better way to ring in the new year. Drinks were poured, laughs were had and when the big ball dropped, there were hugs and kisses all around.

Dan and I, celebrating the end of one decade and the beginning of another.


Teri Yaki, the hostess for the evening. Please note that the original picture is in landscape, but for some odd reason, this site decided the picture should be in portrait.


At about 2, Denise, Polo, Tina and I had our fill of drunk people, drag queens and messy strippers losing their clothing so we left Dan and Luis at the bar and went all of 10 feet south to the Mexican restaurant for burritos. We crowded around a tiny table and enjoyed our feast and each other's company. Alas, it was time to head home. Unfortunately, this was made difficult by the car that had blocked Polo's car in the parking lot. Tina felt festive so she left the offending driver a new year's greeting on their windows "Happy New Year, ASSHOLE!" We laughed, and hailed a cab. I saw to it that Tina and Denise got home, Polo went back in the bar for a little while.

Friday was a quiet day at home, I had company over for New Year's Day dinner. Denise joined mom and me, along with my sister and our friend Karen. Traditionally we eat black-eyed peas on New Year's Day, for good luck. My mom grew up in the South so this is something we've done every year. I've grown to like them. Denise and Karen, who have joined us in the past look forward to their yearly dose of good luck.

Saturday, I joined Dan, Luis, Polo and Denise for a movie. I don't often go to the movies, I blame it on my short attention span and the fact that a movie has to really interest me otherwise I won't sit still through it. Well, we saw "The Blind Side," and going in, I wasn't 100 percent sold that I wanted to see it but once it began, I was glued. I loved it. Sandra Bullock gives such a great performance. I highly recommend it.

Sunday was Christmas, revisited. Try to get six relatively busy people together around the holidays and it's a crap shoot. It wasn't until January 3 that the six of us could get together to have our gift exchange. We decided to turn it into an Italian feast. Dan and Luis opened their home to us and made pasta with sauce and sausage (Luis makes the most delicious marinara saucee!), along with some delicious puff pastry appetizers. Tina brought a huge antipasti platter, I brought a roasted tomato caprese salad, Polo brought enough garlic bread for two dozen people, Denise brought delicious desserts.

Knowing that we were attending this party without a Christmas tree, Denise and I took matters into our own hands and created a tree for the party. I had a gold tinsel tree in my store room at work. I brought it home, we adorned it with colorful ornaments and a giant glittery poinsettia. We stood back and were very proud of our creation. I believe that Dan and Luis were momentarily speechless when they saw it, no doubt they were stuck by it's overwhelming beauty. Perhaps a tear was shed.

The Christmas tree, and some of the delicious food on the table.

Round 1 of the food was served. We cleaned off Tina's platter of goodies and were too full to move. So, we rolled ourselves into the living room and exchanged gifts. In no time, paper was flying, laughter filled the room and a series of "oohs" and "ahhs" along with an "oh wow" or two were spoken.

Well into the gift exchange, yet there are still more gifts to go. Luis is wearing one of his gifts, a yellow down vest.

When the paper finally settled, we went back to the table to finish our dinner. Round two left us all pretty close to unconscious but happy.

What a great way to end a long, fun weekend. 2010 is off to a good start.

Me, cuddling a present from Dan and Luis. It's a beer bottle shaped sausage. Mmm...

Happy New Year!!

The To-Do List, Revisited

On December 31, 2008, I wrote this blog entry.

Live. Live a healthy life. Live for tomorrow. Live your life be free. Live on the edge. Live green. Live each day like it’s the first day of your life. Love yourself. Love your family. Love your pets. Love someone who needs to be loved. Love your Country. Make love. Make someone’s day. Make yourself happy. Make breakfast. Make a difference. Make a change. Give hugs. Give hope. Give a damn. Give yourself a pat on the back. Give back. Take a vacation. Take a chance. Take two, they’re small. Take pictures. Take care. Take the scenic route. Take five. Take your time. Take a friend to lunch. Take time to smell the roses. Take a bubble bath. Relax. Enjoy. Dream. Breathe. Hope. Jump for joy. Celebrate. Be yourself. Be there for someone. Be happy. Be the best person you can be. Laugh. Cry. Shout. Sleep. Reach out. Reach for the stars. Don’t just sit there. Don’t worry. Don’t lose hope. Don’t skip dessert. Don’t overdo it. Don’t forget. Don’t go to bed angry. Wave at small kids riding in the car next to you. Hold the door for an elder. Hug a rock star. Thank someone who has made an influence on your life. Smile.

I think I did pretty well in doing most of the things on this list. How did you do? Is there something you didn't do that you wish you did?

Get Ready For 2009

File Under: A Proper Farewell to 2008

A New Year. New Beginnings. I’m ready for a new year, are you?

As a whole, this has been a really great year. At the beginning of the year, I was looking forward to my 26th Go-Go’s concert, in Chicago. My good friend John attended with me and we went backstage and met the band. I enjoyed being able to share the experience with my friend and I know he appreciated it.

"The Collective" began planning what turned out to be a really fantastic adventure for all of us, in celebration of my best friend Dan’s 40th birthday. Luis had a vision of what he wanted to have happen and I think we accomplished our goal. It started with a fantastic backyard party and ended with fireworks in Florida. Oh wait...and a hurricane. :)

Street festivals were alive and well in Chicago, the most memorable was Andersonville’s Midsommerfest, practically in my back yard. As always, it was a big bunch of fun. Not to mention booze.

Dan and Luis bought their home together and already it has been the site of many great gatherings, from Dan’s birthday, to Halloween on the porch, to our Christmas gathering, just to name a few.

My family, while small, is close and we actually enjoy being around one another. My mom still gets around and always has an entertaining quip or two when she returns from her outings. She has her issues but she’s handling them. My sister is around when she can be but she’s got her hands full with my 19-year old nephew who, with the exception of having some ADHD issues, is a good kid.

I have the most incredible group of friends. I must sound like a broken record because I mention them a lot. Dan and Luis, Denise, Tina and Polo are like family to me. Vahona is someone with whom I’m joined at the brain – we share similar thoughts much of the time and laugh at things that others just would not understand. There are many others, those who aren’t mentioned don’t mean any less to me than those who are mentioned.

My online friends are worthy of a mention of their own. QTS is the message board I belong to and I feel as close to that group of friends as I do to the ones that I get to see on a regular basis. There are a couple overlaps. Both Vahona and my friend Anthony are on the board, too.

I am employed. I have a job that I like and that I do well. I am proud of the job I do. I complain on the days when employeees call about stupid things or I have to drive back and forth between buildings when the weather is bad, but overall, I’m happy. I have some really great coworkers and we have fun.

So I had a couple of events that were downers. The optimist in me looks at those as opportunites to grow and try new things. I’m a believer in Karma, we’ll leave it at that. :)

The door to 2008 is closing, we’re about to step into 2009. We’ve got a new President coming into office. I’m excited about that, and it gives me hope for the new year.

On that note, I wish all of you a very Happy New Year. Here’s to a year filled with good health, prosperity, generosity, laughter and hope. Cheers!

XO

Jim

Paris A Go-Go - New Year's Eve with Belinda Carlisle and Rufus Wainwright

File Under: Ooh La La

Okay so I wasn't there but friends were in the audience and said that the show was amazing. Belinda appeared quite nervous at first which I think is endearing, considering she's had a long career on stage and should be beyond stagefright. However performing entirely in French is new to her and apparently she nailed it. The shows were fun and festive and while people are split in their opinions of Rufus Wainwright, it seemed like he was a good co-headliner with Belinda.

Below is a video that a fan posted on YouTube. It's kind of shaky (he said he was trying to keep his camera hidden from security) and the audio isn't the best but it give you an idea of how much fun was had by the performers. The set was beautiful, the dancers were amazing, and Belinda held true to always performing "Our Lips Are Sealed" when she plays solo. Here it is, in French.




This just makes me really happy. :)