My Mirror

File Under: Reflection

Recently I received an odd email that included the question “when you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?” I didn’t directly reply to the email but since the composer was commenting on things that were read in my blog, I guess this is a reply of some sorts. Perhaps it will be seen, maybe not. I was going to leave it alone but even weeks after the email, friends are still talking about how bizarre it was. This could go on for a bit, go get yourself a drink, or scroll on to the next post.

Alright, let’s start with the physical analysis. I’m 5’9” tall. I weigh 158 pounds. I was 165 back in December but imagine that, I lost weight over the holidays and I’ve kept it off. Yay me! More on that in a bit. I’ve got thinning hair. I’m okay with that. I know, if I had hair it would be great hair but I don’t and what I have is fine. When I let it get long, it stands straight up and it looks Muppet-like. I have green eyes. Sometimes I wear glasses because my vision sucks. I have to wear some sort of prescription lenses in order to not walk into walls. I’m not legal to drive without glasses or contact lenses. I have a mole on my left cheek. Every so often a hair grows out of it and I need to pluck it. It’s hard to shave a mole. Aside from the occasional hair, I like my mole. It makes me unique. I’ve got good teeth. My upper teeth are nice and straight my lower teeth are crooked but they don’t look too bad.

I’m of average weight for my body size. I look pretty good at this weight. I work out regularly, my upper arms are defined, and my chest looks okay. I don’t have great pecs, but at 42, I don’t have man boobs, either. I’ve got a tummy, it’s a family trait, my dad had one too. I do ab crunches and sit-ups at the gym but it will never be gone. I guess I just do what I can to keep it at a minimum.

(This part gets a bit personal but I’m going for full disclosure here so skip this next paragraph if you’re sensitive)

I’ve got a decent penis. What I lack in length, I make up for in girth. If I had another inch I’d be really happy but I don’t and that’s alright. What I have works just fine and received generally favorable reviews of it. I’ve got a nice ass. This I know. It’s round and not flabby. It’s not as great as Dan’s but It looks damn good in a pair of jeans. Again, given the fact that I’m 42 and my ass isn’t sagging, I’m rather proud of it.

Not sure what to say about my legs. I suppose they look good. My feet on the other hand are ugly. I do not have pretty feet. I’ve broken my little toes on both feet so many times they kind of fold under the 4th toe. My big toes bend inward and my right big toe is calloused. Having said that, my left foot was pretty enough to garner some attention at the gym a while back. While the whole foot thing isn’t my cup of tea, who am I to deprive someone else their pleasure.

Okay, I don’t have a special mirror that allows me to look inside, this is just my observation of what’s going on inside.

I’m a good person. I am responsible; I work in a profession where people depend upon me to receive a paycheck that is on time and correct. Further, some depend on me to perform my tasks on a timely basis so they can begin working. I’m the face they see after they’ve been offered a job; I’m the face they see when they are learning about their benefits.

When I’m not at work, I’ve got family responsibilities. My elderly mother lives with me. She’s mainly self-sufficient; I just make sure that she does things like take her pills, check her blood sugar and eat when she’s supposed to. In doing so, I have given up the freedom a 42 year old single gay man might have. For now, it’s the way things have to be. (Improper English, ending a sentence with a preposition).

I balance things out with the most amazing group of friends a guy could want. My best friend Dan is my defender, my confidant and my rock. My partner in crime and the person with whom I share a brain is Vahona. To this day we can get together and finish each other’s sentences. She and I get together and just laugh until it hurts. Steve is another friend with whom I share a brain. We meet for happy hour martinis and just laugh at the most insane stuff. What’s funny is that Steve and Dan are friends from way back, before I knew either of them. When we’re all out, Steve and I will go off on some tangent, resulting in a great deal of laughter, Dan will look at us and just shake his head.

The list of friends goes on and on, from Lynn, with whom I’ve known since our first day of Kindergarten, to my pal Patrick, who, when we’re imbibing in adult beverages, is the “Patsy” to my “Edina.” I have great coworkers who I consider to be great friends. We go out and have lots of fun, but when we’re at work its all business.

And, imagine this. As an angst-ridden 14 year old, I found comfort in the music of The Go-Go’s. They broke up, the reunited, they broke up again, and reunited again…the story goes on and on. 28 years later, they’re still around, somewhat. I somehow managed to become somewhat familiar with the band and consider Jane to be a friend of mine. In my book, that’s pretty damn cool. :)

Even with all those friends, I can go out by myself and still have a good time. I’ll strike up a conversation with anybody when I’m out, and I find entertainment in just watching the crowd. Sure, I’d prefer to be out with friends but rather than sit home, I will go out and perhaps make a new friend.

Are there things I don’t like? Sure. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I fall fast and hard when I meet people, even when I try to hold back. I am generous to a fault, sometimes when it means having to give up something for me. I’m also kind of messy. Not dirty, I’m just not good about managing clutter. I have a bit of a short fuse; I get easily frustrated with people. Not all people, just the stupid ones. As a result, I swear a lot.

But, going back to paragraph one and answering the question “when you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?” Let’s see… I’m 42 years old and I’m a reasonable attractive guy with a decent body. I’ve got flaws but I can identify them. I don’t stress over them. I’ve got a big heart, a fun loving personality. I love to laugh, and I’ve got a diverse collection of friends who enjoy spending time with me. Rock stars know my name and hug me when they see me. So yes, I like what I see. As a matter of fact, I LOVE what I see. I fucking ROCK!

Any further questions?

Birthday Weekend

File Under: 42…so far, so good.

My birthday was on Saturday May 2. I turned 42.

Age is just a number. I’m not sure what 42 is supposed to feel like but I don’t think I feel it. I certainly don’t act like it.

The fun began Friday night. My friend Steve met me out at Jackhammer and he quickly announced “he will not pay for a single drink tonight.” I didn’t. I don’t know how many I had but there were a couple shots, too. When it was time to wander home, sometime around 2, I didn’t feel drunk, just very happy.

Saturday, I met my friends John and Vince for lunch in my neighborhood. They brought me flowers and a giant Hello Kitty birthday card, with a little something tucked into it. They also bought me lunch. It was fun spending time with them.

I went home and prepared a dessert for the evening. I’ll explain the evening that was ahead.
Dan asked me to pick the theme, and he would organize a small casual gathering of our little group. Each of them would prepare a dish. I chose Italian. I was told that I didn’t need to bring anything, though it was suggested that Luis is really fond of my chocolate ganache tart. It’s easy to prepare so I decided to bring it.

I arrived at the house at 7. Luis and Polo were prepping a couple dishes. Dan’s lasagna was in the oven. Denise arrived soon after, carrying an antipasti platter. Tina was noticeably absent from the festivities as she had family matters to tend to in Ohio. However we managed to have a good time.

Drinks were poured and the night of food and fun began. Denise’s cold platter was fantastic. We did a good job of emptying it in a pretty short period of time.

Next up was Luis’s contribution to the meal. He served grilled shrimp skewers with a light pesto sauce and pork meat balls with another delicious sauce. Those who know us know that we’re not shy and in a short period of time those dishes were cleaned. It was necessary though because we had to make room on the table for Dan’s famous lasagna. A creation that stands close to half a foot tall, filled with mushrooms, sausage, ho-made sauce and cheese…lots and lots of cheese. It’s fabulous.

We took a breather once the main course was done. Luis and Polo went into the kitchen and after a bit of whispering and some giggling, there was a bright glow coming from the kitchen. Polo came out, carrying a cake, stuck through the top of it was a rather large “sparkler,” which I believe was really a highway flare. Polo had his arms outstretched, Luis was about 2 feet behind him, looking kind of shocked. Polo set the cake on the table and we all jumped back. I heard “blow it out!” come from one of them. I tried, but all it did was scatter burning embers, causing us to jump back from the table and let it sputter out. Once the smoke cleared, we assessed the damage. A couple spots on the table, some singed eyebrows and watering eyes. Yet, we persevered and ate cake and it was delicious!

We sat in the dining room, talking, and laughing until close to midnight. It was a nearly perfect evening. Perfection would have included Tina.

I must share with you the present that was made for me by Dan and Luis. This sums up our friendship and our group of friends.

How cool is that??

Today was a very relaxing day. I went to the gym, then walked around my neighborhood for a while. I ran into Dan and Luis who were having lunch. The restaurant they were at had its windows open, they were seated next to the window. I was invited to join them, but was enjoying the weather too much to go inside. I was also intent on walking for a while as I need to step up my exercise routine. That’s another post. :)

I’m pretty damn lucky to have such an amazing group of friends.

Fun Weekend

File Under: Friends and Fun in Nature





Last weekend was one of those rare autumn weekend when the weather is like a summer day. I took full advantage of this. On Saturday, I went apple picking with my dear friend Vahona. She lives about an hour away, in Portage, Indiana. Close to her home is the County Line Orchard. We visited the orchard 2 years ago at this time and it was a completely different experience. It was cooler outside, kind of rainy, and the place was ours to wander at our leisure. Last Saturday the place was packed. Regardless, we had fun. Heck, Vahona and I would have fun in gridlock traffic.


I ended up with about 10 pounds of apples. I will probably bake cakes for work. Maybe I'll eat a couple as-is.



(photos of me courtesy of Vahona)






After our adventure in the Orchard, we wandered through the gift shop and then got out of there with our sanity barely in tact. It was so crowded, we even decided to avoid the bakery section, including the apple cinnamon donuts. Instead, we opted for gas station broasted chicken! YUM!




Sunday, I celebrated Polo's birthday with Dan, Denise, Luis and Tina. The six of us met for brunch at Deleece, a long-established restaurant in the Wrigleyville neighborhood of Chicago. I had never been there, it was quite a treat! The six of us had a delightful time. Afterwards, everybody went their separate way, except for Denise and I who did some shopping, both of us leaving the stores with Chirstmas gifts! Now the challenge is to remember that I bought them and where I put them. :)




If I were to score this weekend, I'd hold up the 10 paddle. :)

A Little Birthday Party

File Under: Cupcakes and Friends

Luis' birthday was last Thursday. Dan took him to NYC for the weekend. Meanwhile, Denise, Tina, Polo and I were planning a little lunch for him when they returned on Sunday. Everybody cooked something. I baked cupcakes for dessert.



The plan was, I baked on Saturday and was going to wake up Sunday morning, have a bit of breakfast and some coffee, make some frosting and frost the cupcakes. Alarm was set for 8 am.



The first text message arrived at 7:51. It was Dan sending a frantic message. "We're on and earlier flight! Land at 10:30!"



The second and third text messages came from Polo, relaying Dan's message and saying "it's okay, get here at 10:45, they arrive at 11:15. No worries. The last message woke me up, it was 7:59. No sooner than I said the words "Shit! What the FUCK?!" my alarm went off.



I jumped out of bed and ran into the kitchen and began pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator and cabinets. Mesauring cups were flying, I had the mixer but couldn't find the beaters. We have 2 sets, I kept finding both "left" beaters. Finally I found the left and right. Had I been making one kind of icing it would have been fine but I was making two kinds.




They got done, the cupcakes got frosted, I did my best not to lock my mom in a closet because she decided she wanted to make breakfast. Okay I get it, you need to eat...low blood sugar, yada yada. Fine. ;-)




Still I had less time to do things. That meant no coffee and no time to shave. I was clean, my teeth were brushed, I had on matching shoes and socks, I call that success.




We were a hasty little bunch at the house, getting stuff in the ovens, setting up dessert. Tina, bless her heart, she made coffee.




Dan and Luis arrived home, we had a fantastic lunch of ribs, chipotle mashed potatoes, butternut squash, a baked tomato dish, and loaded corn bread. Oh, and cupcakes.




Luis was surprised and happy and as usual it was another fantastic day with my wonderful friends.




No pictures of us, there are enough pictures of us in previous posts, but check out the cupcakes! :-)



The cupcake tree - coconut cupcakes and chocolate cupcakes.


The coconut cupcakes - Ina Garten's "Barefoot Contessa" boxed mix. I could have done them from scratch but decided to try the box. Delicious!!


Chocolate cupcakes with Luis' favorite chocolate frosting - Cake recipe courtesy of Martha Stewart's baking handbook, frosting recipe couretsy of Hershey's cocoa - it's on the back of the canister! So easy, and so yummy!


Tiny gold Buddha with intentions of maintaining his waistline, decides to try to sneak off with a cupcake.

Meet my friends

File under: Friends

As I said in my intro, I plan to introduce you to my friends, we'll call them the cast of characters in my life. These are my partners in crime, my travel companions, my shoulders to cry on. Later on, as I mention these people in my stories, you will get to know about about them, too.

Today's featured friend is Dan, my best friend. We met close to five years ago after I began frequenting a bar that he often visited. After sitting in the same spots week after week, he finally turned towards me one night and said "You sit here week after week, listening to our conversations, you may as well tell me your name so that I can include you in the conversation." I looked over my shoulder to confirm he was talking to me. He was, I introduced myself and then he smiled and said "It's nice to meet you, I'm Dan."

We chatted regularly, as we would see each other at least once each weekend at the bar. Pretty soon we were hanging out. He gets me, I get him. We're so much alike in some regards but polar opposites in others. We complement each other perfectly. In fact, he was there when my "Proper" monicker was born. Mind you, he laughed when he heard it applied to me.

Dan's partner is Luis. You'll learn about him soon. Pictured above with Dan is Ozzie, Luis' Bulldog.

To learn more about Dan, check out his blog, 41North87West. Dan has an opinion about everything and isn't afraid to speak his mind. Whether you agree or disagree with him, you can't help but admire the fact that he isn't afraid to call it like he sees it. A link to Dan's blog can be found at the bottom of this page.