Time Flies...

One lonely evening last August, I was sitting quietly, staring at my iPod. It's one of the fancy ones that allows me to download apps and do things online. It functions somewhat like an iPhone but I need to connect to a wifi network to make it work. Anyway, that's not the point of this blog. The point is, I logged on to a *ahem* "social networking" app. As I often did, I would click on the pictures, read the profiles, initiate a chat and never hear back from the person to whom I reached out. That evening, I clicked on the picture that amused me. Some guy with neon wings. I think I said "Hi. I love your picture." Then I logged off.

The following morning, I was sitting at Starbucks and I logged on. The guy with neon wings was on and replied "Hey cutie, how are you this morning?"

All this began on August 15.

Flash forward 3 months and Anthony and I are still dating. I was at Starbucks Monday morning (the 15th) and I sent him a text about the events three months prior and he said "well imagine my surprise when I got your note. The cute ones never said hi to me." Had I not been sitting in a crowded room, I'd have probably started blubbering like a girl. As it was, my eyes welled up a bit. We had a brief but sweet conversation, then I left to go to work.

I feel infinitely lucky. I count my blessings every day. And I marvel at the fact that three months feel like they flew by. Time really does fly when you're having fun.

Tongue-Tied

File Under: People say stupid things

People = me

Last night I was on the phone with Matthew, who was rehashing his bad day and the concerns on his mind. In my mind I was thinking how everything he was discussing was interconnected and how it could potentially be complicated. Instead I said "Wow, you're complicated." I didn't even think about the fact that I hadn't verbally expressed my thoughts as intended. He became offended and abruptly ended the call and then sent me a text message indicating that he was hurt by my comment. I called him back he didn't answer.

If you haven't figured things out by now, I'm completely neurotic and a bit of a social retard when it comes to relationships. I was horrified and went to bed hypervantalating, completely convinced that I've ruined everything.

I didn't sleep much last night. I got up at about 1 and composed a very carefully worded apology, and I emailed it to him. He keeps a Blackberry for work so I knew he would see that it came in when he got up this morning. He hasn't replied to it but my first text message from him was a traffic alert for an area he thought was close to my office. I replied right back (I never fell into a deep sleep) and thanked him for the alert.

I'm still sad about my foolish mistake and hope he'll realize that it wasn't intentional. There's not much else I can do to express this to him.

I chose to wear a blue sweater to work today, it matches both my mood and the giant bags under my eyes.