All The World's A Stage...

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts…”

- William Shakespeare - As You Like It, act 2, scene 7


People come in and out of our lives all the time. Some you encounter for a brief moment (the random person standing behind you at Starbucks last Tuesday, or someone who picks up the glove you just dropped on the ground). Others are there for a long time (a childhood friend who you’ve known since you were both in kindergarten). Some aren’t around long enough (a parent who’s life has ended, who at times you really need to hear their words of encouragement).


I think that all people come into our lives for a reason. They guide us along our path, providing wisdom, support, or an opposing view, causing us to think about our journey. We build bonds with family members. Those bonds may weaken at times but they remain our family and our connection to each one of them is unique. We make friends along the way, and if you’re lucky enough, like me, those friends are there for you through thick and thin.


I’ve said it all too often yet never enough, I have an amazing group of friends. Some step back and allow me to go along my path and make my own decisions. Others will tell me if the steps I’m about to make are the right ones, yet they allow me to choose the steps I make. All will be there for me if I’ve made a misstep and I need a hand to hold, a warm body to hug, or a shoulder upon which to cry. And when all is said and done, everybody has learned something new, about ourselves and each other.

Relationships happen when you least expect them. I’ve not had many, but those I’ve had have taught me great lessons. As I’m now dealing with the end of my current relationship, I’m thankful for the opportunity that I’ve had with a very special man. I’ve learned that I’ve faced one of the greatest challenges in my life so far. The ability to say goodbye and let go of someone I love.

Anthony’s entrance was defiitely unexpected. During our first meeting, I felt completely at ease with him and there was a sense of excitement. I could not wait to know more about him. He made me laugh and he made me think. I believe I did the same for him. Each outing that followed brought more laughs and warm feelings. Not once did I feel the need to pretend to be someone I’m not, nor did I worry about my family or friends welcoming and accepting him.

In the nearly five months we were together, he played the role of friend, lover, jester and confidant. He taught me about living life, about how I feel about myself, and about my ability to feel for others. He caused me to laugh until my stomach hurt, and caused me to cry until my eyes were red and swollen. He made me think about what I want out of life.

Anthony moved to the West Coast on Sunday. We ended our dating relationship on the best of terms. We both agreed that we will be a part of each other's lives. He has checked in on me to see how I'm doing. I've talked to him about his house hunt, we've both laughed about pictures of lunch and funny wigs.

The last days Anthony was here, he stayed with me. It gave us a lot of time to really talk about things and it turns out we were very much on the same page with a lot of things. Had it not been for this amazing job opportunity and the lure of a fantastic adventure, it seems likely we would have been together for a long time. Yet, I'm not sad when I think about that. Oddly enough, a feeling of calm came over me because it took me back to my friends all telling me to relax and enjoy, something that as much as I say I did, I never fully did. Oh I was probably 92 percent there, which is a heck of a lot more than when I was with Matthew. Though to his credit, I discovered Xanax so a shout out to him!

Now it's on to new adventures. It's time to look across the stage and see the next act. Like any great book, I'm sure there will be unexpected twists and turns in the story. I welcome them. It goes without saying, that I'll probably prattle on about them here, too.

Time Flies...

One lonely evening last August, I was sitting quietly, staring at my iPod. It's one of the fancy ones that allows me to download apps and do things online. It functions somewhat like an iPhone but I need to connect to a wifi network to make it work. Anyway, that's not the point of this blog. The point is, I logged on to a *ahem* "social networking" app. As I often did, I would click on the pictures, read the profiles, initiate a chat and never hear back from the person to whom I reached out. That evening, I clicked on the picture that amused me. Some guy with neon wings. I think I said "Hi. I love your picture." Then I logged off.

The following morning, I was sitting at Starbucks and I logged on. The guy with neon wings was on and replied "Hey cutie, how are you this morning?"

All this began on August 15.

Flash forward 3 months and Anthony and I are still dating. I was at Starbucks Monday morning (the 15th) and I sent him a text about the events three months prior and he said "well imagine my surprise when I got your note. The cute ones never said hi to me." Had I not been sitting in a crowded room, I'd have probably started blubbering like a girl. As it was, my eyes welled up a bit. We had a brief but sweet conversation, then I left to go to work.

I feel infinitely lucky. I count my blessings every day. And I marvel at the fact that three months feel like they flew by. Time really does fly when you're having fun.

Random Act of Kindness

Tonight, while doing laundry, I stopped at Starbucks for a refreshing iced beverage. For most of the summer, Starbucks has been giving out a "treat receipt," meaning if you make a purchase before 2:00 pm, they give you a receipt that acts as a coupon, granting you any grande iced beverage for $2.00. Since every morning starts at Starbucks, I had a receipt. Unfortunately it wasn't with me, it was at home on my night table because I had emptied my pockets before going to do laundry. A woman heard me concede that I didn't have my receipt and offered me hers. She didn't need it, she opted for a warm beverage tonight. Her gesture was so nice and so random. It made my night.

Sometime this week, perform a random act of kindness for someone. Tell me about it!

Things You Don't Want to See on a Sunday Morning

Yesterday morning I got up and took a walk to my Starbucks to relax and have a cup of coffee. I lingered, watching people go by, looking at the dogs parked outside while their owners came in for their caffeine fix. It was cool but a pretty day. But I had sat there long enough and it was time for me to move on and do something productive with my day.

I approached the intersection of Ashland and Bryn Mawr and heard the sound of screeching tires. I looked up and saw a silver SUV approaching the intersection, apparently attempting to stop. In front of him was a man on his bicycle, stopped at the center of the intersection, perhaps waiting to turn. Well, the SUV didn't stop in time and the bike was hit, the man flew off the bike and went down hard. The SUV stopped, the driver jumped out and the man on the bike was screaming in agony. I called 911, while I was on the phone, others approached and were apparently doing the same thing. At this point, there were people in the intersection helping the cyclist, advising him to stay still. He appeared to not be seriously injured, but I'm sure he's covered in bruises today. it could have been much worse. First, a police car arrived, then a fire truck, then an ambulance. It all happened pretty quickly. I didn't wait to see what, if anything happened to the driver of the SUV. I'm just relieved it wasn't worse.

Thankfully the remainder of my Sunday was much less eventful.

Tuesday Morning at Starbucks

Got here around 8:30. Had a grande (aka medium) coffee and a low-fat apple bran muffin (it's free pastry day with an online coupon).

It was kind of crowded when I arrived. My usual chair was occupied. Not sure I would have sat in it anyway, as the seat next to it was and still is occupied by "CJ." Tiday she is looking somewhat subdued - peach capris, grey shirt with peach piping, hair down with sparkly pins in it, flat sandals. She's got the little table in front of her, and her laptop is on it. Today the display is sideways. As I was settling into my spot, she sneezed, I said "bless you," and she scrunched her face and blew me a kiss. We may be engaged, I'm not sure...

The usual commuters have been in and out. The couple I see just about every moorning is here. An older black couple, both somewhat overweight. The womandoes all the talking. She's very social, wears fantastic hats. Today's hat is a wide-brimmed straw hat with gold edging and a band around the top with colorful large "jewels" affixed to it, like a big, sparkly halo. They both sit, in silence and read the paper and work the puzzles. they seem perfectly content.

CJ is tapping away on her computer. She isn't really typing, she just smacks the same series of keys with her left hand while occasionally her right hand smacks the same spot on the keyboard. A man who was waiting for his coffee saw her "typing" and commented "wow, you're really quite a fast typist!" Her response, which I could not hear, involved some sort of vocalization as well as some sort of finger drumming against her face, along with a wink and a smile. The man leaned in to hear what she was saying, I'm still not sure he really knew what she said or if she said anything that was in a known language. He smiled and backed away, slowly.

One wonders were people are headed on Tuesday at 10 in the morning. Some woman, who vaguely resembles that insipid "mom" Kate with the 8 kids (sans Jon), just walked in. She's in a black cotton tank dress with a short jacket. She's lacking a proper foundation garment as her ample chest is quite jiggly. Srangely, she just got her cup of coffee from a short, balding man with glasses. He, along with two other woman and Ms. Jiggles just left, together. Maybe they're new recruits for his whore house, maybe they're on their way to the church to do God's work.

I wonder if CJ is blogging about me right now?

Scenes from Starbucks

I'm at my Starbucks this morning. The usual transient coffee patrons are here, some rushing in for a cup of coffee on their way to work, some are stopping to have a pastry or sandwich. Then there are those who are lingering a bit to read the paper and sip their drink slowly. But then there are those who seem to always be here and are quite the sight to behold.

One in particular has been named "CJ." She's a woman of undetermined age who usually wears a yarmulke, she's got sparkly clips in her hair and often wears big beaded jewelry. Today she is here and dressed for safari. White knit cotton Pith Helmet, hair is in a braid, green tie-dyed shirt, ill-fitting jeans and ballet flats. She sits in here for hours at a time, monopolizing a table with her stuff. She's got a mini-laptop computer. The display on it is upside down - COMPLETELY upside down (I watched her boot it up the other day and even the brand logo came up upside down!). Most of the time she taps away with great force, then she sits back and grins at her work.

Apparently one day she was doing crafts. She had rubber stamps with her. My dear friend Steve who witnessed this said that she was having quite a time with the stamp pad and had ink all over her hands. Unphased, she continued with her stamping frenzy.

Today she's wearing headphones. Whatever she's listening to makes her happy. She's singing along (quietly!). She's uing her little computer and she's basically tapping the same 6 keys. Oh wait, she has stopped to apply lipstick. time for a beauty break!

One afternoon I ccame in here and she was drumming. Oh, she's quite the show.

The other semi-regular I see in here is the old woman with long white hair, who wears a lemon yellow organza bow on the top of her head. Today she is in a long shiny black duster with a pink blouse underneath, black pants and orange canvas sneakers. she has lots of bags and wears sunglasses. When I arrived here this morning, she was in my chair. I like the chair in the corner so that if I want to look at dirty pictures, I can without offending anybody. Anyway, yellow bow lady doesn't do much although I have seen her sitting and watching something on a portable DVD player.

these are the people in my neighborhood. Won't you be my neighbor?

Creature of Habit

(I've decided this is a good time to discontinue the "File Under" sub-heading of each post. I don't like to file and doing so with this post seems appropriate)

I am a creature of habit. Many of the things I do are done on a routine basis or on a schedule.

Work has structured me to do things on a schedule. I process payroll, our cycyle is biweekly so every two weeks, I repeat the same process. During that cycle, I issue payroll reports on the same days. There are managers who I know will forget about their reports, so I know to call them to remind them to complete their reports.

Because I run two offices, I have to post a schedule on my door to let everybody know where I'll be each day. If you were to look at my schedule, you would see that it's the same repeating 10 day pattern.

Outside of work, I have a number of tasks that I do on a regular basis. Most Monday evenings I do laundry. Sometimes I'll do laundry on a Tuesday, rarely will I do it any later than Wednesday. It definitely needs to be done on a weekly basis. The remaining weeknights I go to the gym.

Every morning, I begin my journey at Starbucks for coffee. I have a commuter mug. They know me at Starbucks, I've been coming here for 15 years. My order never changes. Tall coffee (it's a grande mug, they just fill it 2/3 full. Sometimes they fill it higher, I pour some out). The only change to my order is if it's orientation (2nd Monday of each month), I'll add a scone. I do this because I don't have time when I get to work to have my usual breakfast, a bowl of oatmeal.

When I do orientation, I present benefits. It's from a script, which I wrote. There's really no way to embellish benefits to make it fun so I stick to the script. When I ad-lib, I throw in the same jokes or quips that I throw in every month. I get the same labored laugh from the class every time. At the end, they ask the same questions.

Away from work, my routine is pretty steady. Friday comes around, and I can most often be found at my local watering hole. I go to the same bartender, Mark, and he makes me my same drink (which, get this! I recently switched to vanilla vodka with diet coke - watching carbs). Mark just asks if I'm having the usual, then fixes it. Saturday night, I'm usually there again. If I'm not there, it's because I've been invited over to Dan and Luis' house for something. It's been a while since something completely different has kept me out of the bar. My daytime routine is the same, too. Out of the house by noon, off to the gym, then lunch then wandering the neighborhood or doing housework.

With all that said, I don't mind being a creature of habit. It works for me. It's comforting and comfortable. Often it seems when I try to shake things up, something goes wrong.

So tell me about you? Are you a creature of habit? Do you have a routine you stick with or do you fly by the seat of your pants?

At Starbucks

Sitting here in what I thought would be a warm seat, I'm anything but warm. This is one of those times I wish I owned a Snuggie and had it with me. Imagine me, sitting in a comfy chair at Starbucks, wearing a Snuggie.

What Does It All Mean??

File Under: Signs?

Prior to meeting Matthew, I didn't know who Diana Krall was. Okay, I'd heard the name, maybe I saw her on Martha Stewart's show or something but didn't think twice about her music. Matthew loves her, and so I came to appreciate her vocal stylings and recognize her voice. I downloaded a few songs as well as her Christmas album from iTunes.

So of course, everywhere I go now I hear her. In the grocery store. In Macy's. In Starbucks. In my own house! I was in my bedroom and my mom, who was in the kitchen baking holiday cookies, was listening to our public fine arts station and who was on last night? Uh-huh.

I went out last night, figured a night out would do me good. Back at my usual place, Jackhammer. I know a lot of the bartenders there, they take good care of me. it's close to home, casual and often fun. My friend John was working, we chatted all evening, I got hugs from him, and he kept my glass full.

I ran into another friend, who was there with someone we both know. I went over and talked to them and learned that these two have been "busy" for about 6 months. The one friend has actually been seeing someone for a couple months. So suffice it to say he's been very busy. They both came over to where I had been standing and had a drink, and proceeded to make out. They soon left together. The downward spiral of my mood went much faster at that point.

I wandered the bar for a while and saw nobody of interest, so I went home. The temperature had dropped dramatically since I had arrived, yet I decided to just walk since I had worn my ugly but warmest coat. Mind you, I was somewhat drunk so the fact that the 20 mph winds that were hitting my face weren't really bugging me too much, nor was I caring that the unshoveled walks were making the walk quite difficult. I was pissed off at the world and I just wanted to get home.

About 1/3 of the way home, up one of the streets I was passing, a man was singing at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS. Of all the songs he could be singing, he's singing "Chasing Pavements." That's Adele's song. The first couple of lines he sang I thought "gosh, from where do I know that song?" Then I hear "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements..." At that point I screamed at the top of my lungs "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SERIOUSLY???" The singing continued and he was walking my direction, behind me so yes, I heard quite a bit of his version of the song. I tied my hood tighter to try to muffle the sound, that didn't work. Finally I just ran.

Really, what are the odds? Why do THESE songs/artists keep popping up?

Take My Number, Please

File Under: Going for it

My previous post reminded me of something I did this morning.

Every day, my morning starts at Starbucks. I have been a customer of the Starbucks at Clark and Berwyn in Andersonville for (at least) 10 years. Monday thru Friday, I walk in at about 7 am, hand the nice person behind the counter my washed stainless steel mug, and they fill it with the magic elixer known as coffee. On those mornings when I'm working at my office in the neighborhood, I have time to sit. I see many of the same people every day.

One customer is a handsome guy who comes in and orders an iced coffee drink. After seeing him enough times, I started making eye contact and he would return it. Then it became eye contact and a smile, also returned. Some mornings I'd throw in a nod and/or a "hi." But I knew nothing about this guy. Was he just some polite guy who was comfortable with these exchanges with a stranger? Was he gay? Was he single?

A couple weeks ago when my friend Dave was in town, a bunch of us went to Jackhammer, a local drinking establishment. Dan and I met there 6 years ago and have spent so much time there, we should have a section of the bar named after us. But I digress...back to the night we were all out with Dave. I looked up again and iced coffee drink came in with someone. At least I was comfortable in believing that he's gay. I was near the service area so he saw me as he approached to buy a drink. We both smiled and said hello. I was a bit tongue-tied so I think I tried to make some sort of small talk. Later, he returned to where I was and stood by me so we chatted a bit. He said "I see you at Starbucks, don't I?" I said "yes, and I was going to say that's not coffee you're drinking!" We laughed (nervously, perhaps?) and talked a bit. His friend came over, I turned away a bit to chat with Patrick and Dave and turned back as iced coffee drink was kissing his friend, who then walked away. We continued to chat and I said something like "So your boyfriend had to leave?" He said "Oh no, that's just my best friend, he's leaving with someone and I was telling him to have fun and be careful." (YAY!) So there was more chatter, then he looked at his watch and said it was time for him to go.

The following Tuesday I saw him at Starbucks and we chatted a bit more than our previous morning encounters. Later that day, at work, I wrote on the back of one of my business cards "Let's have coffee, a drink or perhaps dinner sometime." I included my cell phone number. I didn't see him for over a week.

Today, he walked in while I was ahead of him in line. This meant we'd be at the cream and sugar station together. I took my time opening sugar packets and pouring cream. He approached, we chatted and I handed him the card and said "You know, you should call me sometime. Here's my number!" He said "oh, thanks!" and then proceeded to spill his coffee (he was attempting to swirl the cup to stir his drink but the lid wasn't on). It wasn't a full spill, but he sloshed some on his pants (yes, the front) and down his leg. I felt horrible but he quickly said "isn't the first time I've done that, guess I need to clean up." I helped tidy up the counter and he thanked me. I then went to sit down and he went into the bathroom to try to get some of the coffee off of his pants. When he left, he shrugged and smiled.

I feel a sense of accomplishment that I gave him my number, but he probably will associate me with spilled coffee and never call. But...you never know.

I Don't Read

File Under: Observations at Starbucks


I'm off from work today. My good friend Dave from Tampa is visiting so I scheduled off so that we could hang out. We went out for a while last night and had a lovely time. This morning I got up and decided I wanted my morning cup of Starbucks so I showered, shaved (ON MY DAY OFF!!), dressed and walked over to Starbucks. I'm typing this from the store right now. As I'm sitting here, there are people around me doing their thing - sipping their drink, talking, scurryinng in and out of here. Then there are the newspaper readers.


I have been known to pick up the paper from time to time. If I have an appointment and I'm early, I'll buy one, especially if I'm trying to impress. An example of NOT impressing would be if I brought my TV Guide or a copy of Juggs to read while waiting. Okay, I don't really read TV Guide. That was an embellishment. Right now, there are 4 people sitting in here actually READING the paper. They are staring at the pages, turning them slowly, taking in the news of this city and the world. The guy across from me is reading the "Chicago Homes" section of the Chicago Tribune, but he's reading it. I get a paper and the first thing I do is flip through it, reading headlines and looking at the pictures. I like the Tribune because there are lots of color pictures. Color is good...it's pretty. RARELY do I actually read articles. Mind you, I'm not inept when it comes to the news, I listen to public radio, I watch television newscasts, and I read Dan's Blog which is rather newsy from time to time.

I've never been a big reader. I go through fits where I'll read two or three books in a row, then go months without picking one up. I'm a slow reader, and for someone who is impatient and wants instant gratification, the two don't mix. Reading tests my patience.

Another guy is reading the auto classifieds right now. Hmm...

It would be noble of me to say "I'm going to read more, I'm going to start to take the time to read the newspaper." I won't lie, that probably won't happen.

I Have No Taste

File Under: I'm tired of being sick

I think I'm finally over the hump with this cold. I've not taken anything in a couple days and my lungs haven't seemed to gotten any worse. I can breathe through my nose again. I'm still stuffy and I know I sound like I've got a cold. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with and am really upset about is the fact that my sense of taste and smell are out of sync. This became evident yesterday morning when I arrived at Starbucks for my morning coffee. I tasted it and thought someone had just poured me a cup of brown water. The only thing I could taste was what tasted like sour milk.

This morning, I hoped things would be better. They were not. My coffee still tasted terrible. I like coffee and I particularly enjoy my morning cup of coffee. But I don't like it when it tastes like dirty bath water.

On the plus side, I haven't been very hungry. I love that a bowl of soup (which doesn't taste very good either) fills me up.

As for my sense of smell, the worst thing is the smell of cigarette smoke. It just smells like death and it repulses me. I live with a smoker so it's been a very challenging few days.