File Under: People say stupid things
People = me
Last night I was on the phone with Matthew, who was rehashing his bad day and the concerns on his mind. In my mind I was thinking how everything he was discussing was interconnected and how it could potentially be complicated. Instead I said "Wow, you're complicated." I didn't even think about the fact that I hadn't verbally expressed my thoughts as intended. He became offended and abruptly ended the call and then sent me a text message indicating that he was hurt by my comment. I called him back he didn't answer.
If you haven't figured things out by now, I'm completely neurotic and a bit of a social retard when it comes to relationships. I was horrified and went to bed hypervantalating, completely convinced that I've ruined everything.
I didn't sleep much last night. I got up at about 1 and composed a very carefully worded apology, and I emailed it to him. He keeps a Blackberry for work so I knew he would see that it came in when he got up this morning. He hasn't replied to it but my first text message from him was a traffic alert for an area he thought was close to my office. I replied right back (I never fell into a deep sleep) and thanked him for the alert.
I'm still sad about my foolish mistake and hope he'll realize that it wasn't intentional. There's not much else I can do to express this to him.
I chose to wear a blue sweater to work today, it matches both my mood and the giant bags under my eyes.
6 comments:
oh hon....LIFE is complicated. I'm sure you and Matthew will be fine...if he knows anything at all about you, he knows how big your heart is and that you meant no harm.
you are a very loving man Jimbo, and I'm sure he'll realize this.
xoxoxox
Don't sweat it!* You didn't do anything wrong. Don't let him beat you up about one remark--the intent was not hurtful or mean . . . in fact it sounds like he may have over-reacted.
Just my take--I could be way off.
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* - Totally easier said than done, I know!
Easier said than done is correct. I will say that the extent of his reaction could have stemmed from the bad day he'd had at work, the concerns he was trying to voice to me, and his health (he pulled muscles in his back over the weekend and was suffering from some sort of sinus ailment). Bad timing on both our parts, I guess. We're still in our orientation phase so there's still a lot to learn about one another.
Thank you both for your kind words and support.
So I'm guessing he doesn't read your blog?
You're probably right about its being a reaction to his bad day. I'm sure it will work out. You will both be able to laugh about it later on.
Hugs!
No, he doesn't know about the blog. I'm not sure how he would feel about it. ;-)
I'd say welcome to the "Insert Foot In Mouth Club" but I think all of us, at one time or another are membrs of that group.
I think your apology should help, and the fact that he sent the traffic report is a sweet innocent way to say "All is forgiven" and not talk about it again.
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