And now the anger sets in.
I'm not one bit angry at Anthony. If I were in his shoes, I believe I would do the exact same thing.
I am angry at the situation. No, not that moron from MTV, the situation I'm facing.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I fall hard and fast. Show me some affection, show me that you enjoy spending time with me and I'm yours. I could go on and on listing things that endear me to others but you get the picture.
I'm angry that I met someone with whom I connect on so many levels and he's leaving, and now I have to start over. I was going to type "decide if I want to start over," but I think it's safe to say that I WILL start over, eventually. Easy as that sounds, it never is.
I don't have good luck. It truly is a "needle in the haystack" thing with me. There are a number of tests that one needs to pass to win my heart. The funny thing is, I can usually tell if they're going to pass after the first meeting. Will my family like him? Is he someone I'd bring to a work function? Does he make me laugh? Will he fit in well with my core group of friends? Is he worthy of my heart?
Anthony is all those things and more. But, in two weeks, he'll be 2000 miles away, starting a new job and a new life. A life that won't include me the way it does today.
A happy consolation is that we'll always be friends. This is ending on a good note - I refuse to have it any other way. He'll become yet another friend that I'll want to visit when I'm in California. But, this isn't about being happy. I'll try that later.
So, they process starts again. I hate it. I'm angry.