Explain this to me, please. How does someone go from "I can't wait until I'm on vacation in two weeks so that I can make dinner for you every night?" to "This relationship isn't in a place where I think it should be at this point."
I don't get it. This isn't the first time I've met someone who seems to have an on/off switch. Not even a dimmer switch, it goes from ON to OFF.
I want one.
I also want sleep.
I've been to the kitchen and looked out the window. It's not an exciting view. I went to the living room and sat on the sofa for a while. I curled up with Mistletoe Bear and had the first real cry.
Bless Dan and Luis. Dan was the first person I called after it happened and he told me to come over. The three of us talked for about an hour. Deep down, I know this isn't my fault, it's not something I did, but I feel like I've been taken on this ride and pushed out of a moving vehicle far from home.
Past relationships and entanglements (not significant enough to call them relationships) taught me to keep my guard up. I generally fall fast and I fall hard. I went into this with Matthew with the intention of treading lightly. But when someone says to you "it would be fun to explore new places with you, I wish you would get a passport because I keep getting sent to these great places and I have nobody to enjoy them with," or "I wanted you to feel at home at my place when you spend the night so I bought your identical linen set," it kind of makes it difficult to keep ones' guard up.
Don't get me started on the song (see post 11/21).
I fell for him. I love him and now he wants nothing to do with me.
Makes me wonder why I have trust issues.